Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Top 10 Ways You Know It's Hot in India

WARNING: Portions of this post will be plagiarized by's Rick Reilly in the event he ever visits India in the summer.

In other words, it's predictable and basically writes itself. And yes, I recognize what follows is basically a Letterman Top 10 List; but that seemed better than copying Jeff Foxworthy and creating a "You might be hot if...." routine. Without further ado, here are the Top 10 Ways You Know It's Hot in India.

(10) You haven't been to the pool in weeks.

(9) Rather than allowing your red wine to breathe, you allow it to come down to an acceptable temperature  by refrigerating it a few minutes before consumption.

(8) You hear the constant buzz of vuvuzelas. Oh wait, sorry about that, I got slightly confused with the 1st, 4th, and 10th things Rick Reilly would predictably change about the World Cup (I have no qualms linking to his article, not exactly a lot of free publicity coming from this site).

(7) There's no need use the geyser in the bathroom for a hot shower.

(6) Your driver greets you in the morning with, "It's hot".

(5) The peanut butter in the cupboard has the consistency of honey.

(4) The undershirts in your closet have that same comfy feel as when you remove them from the dryer.

(3) You seriously consider weekend trips to locations in the heart of monsoon season.

(2) You think you feel a cool breeze, check the temperature, and realize it's still 91 degrees. At 10pm in the evening.

And the number one reason you know it's hot in India (yep, totally stealing from Letterman)....

You constantly think about ways to draw comparisons for folks at home between the actual Indian summer and the racially biased yet infinitely more pleasant "Indian summer" of your midwestern American youth (I'm not sure exactly how Reilly would tie this in, but it's a fairly safe assumption he'd save it for the number one position).

I'm almost ashamed I created this list. Almost.

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